SALEM-KEIZER COMMUNITY MARRIAGE POLICY

As pastors and ministers in our community, we affirm that God had established marriage as a holy institution. God desires that marriage be honored and esteemed among all people as a life-long commitment. As spiritual counselors for our congregations, we witness both the joys of marriage and the pain of divorce. We are grieved that, over the last decade, there has been 1 divorce for every 1.6 marriages in Oregon. Because 75% of all marriage ceremonies are performed by ministers, we want to ensure that as many marriages as possible are loving, healthy and long-lasting. Research affirms that couples who earnestly engage in premarital counseling will have a better understanding of the marriage relationship and, in turn, have better marriages. By entering into the covenant, we as a community of clergy desire to increase the percentage of healthy marriages and significantly reduce the divorce rate in Salem-Keizer.

To both establish and nurture healthy marriages, we pledge to adequately prepare and support couples whom we marry. We will invest our best skills and resources to help couples discern their readiness for this sacred relationship, and provide them with encouragement to maintain a healthy marriage for life. As ministers, we agree that the following elements should be included in marital preparation:

1. Couples agree to wait at least four (4) months from the initial marital appointment until the wedding date.
2. Couples agree to participate in at least four (4) premarital counseling sessions or in a marriage preparation course. (This does not include any meeting(s) to plan the ceremony.) As part of the counseling process, we strongly encourage the following:

• Completion of a relationship inventory (such as PREPARE, Meyers Briggs, TJTA, DISC, or similar). This will help couples objectively gauge their readiness for marriage.
• That the couples be sexually abstinent until marriage.
• Teaching of biblical principals on marriage, morality, and divorce. Topics should include expectations, commitment, communication, prayer, finances, sexuality, conflict resolution and other key issues that affect the marriage relationship

3. Couples agree to participate in a church or community of faith while preparing for their marriage.
4. Couples agree to participate in at least two (2) post-marital sessions within the first year of marriage with minister, counselor and/or mentoring couple.
5. Couples agree to participate in enrichment and counseling as necessary for the growth of the marriage relationship.

By signing this Community Marriage Policy, we do not imply that we agree on all doctrinal issues. However, we do agree collectively that marriage is holy, critical to the well-being of our society, and worth esteeming. We recognize that each minister’s style of implementation may vary, and that each of us has a responsibility before God to make conscientious choices in upholding the sanctity of marriage. By signing this document, we hereby covenant, --together and individually—to do the following:

• Be godly role models in our own marriages and family relationships.
• Implement this policy as the minimum expectation for all couples we marry.
• Share the purpose and details of this policy with our congregations.
• Promote and offer resources dedicated to the strengthening of marriages.
• Seek ways to increase out competence in preparing couples for marriage and a life-long relationship.

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